First Step towards Resolving my Issues

Deep inside I still felt a strong love for music, creating beautiful and alluring music that people can enjoy. I enjoy being a performer during my life before university life. I also enjoy being a conductor and the song arranger where I can choose how to retell the story to the audience in my own unique ways. But that was way way before university times. I fully regret how my music education stopped when I chose NUS to be my next stop.

I sincerely hope that a cellist can rekindle my love for music again and whom are able to guide me to the next step of being a fully accomplished musician. I already decided to put down my brass and woodwind knowledge and enter into the world of string and piano as to me, it seems to be more mature and simply opens up to more possibilities beneath the constraint of breathing. Even with unique way of breathing, there are some things where it simply cannot be done. Imagine a euphonium playing a phrase full of semiquavers. Even with connectors which enables you to transit over the next valve without break, it really cannot fully express this phrase better than cello. I have personally experienced it and have decisively made up my mind to shift over to cello someday.

I truly hope that someone will appear in my life someday and guide me in my dreams of being a storyteller

Quest of Life?

This morning as I sat down while pressing the keys on my keyboard aimlessly, a thought struck me. It is not entirely a new idea nor a revolutionary one. It's a question what one will always ask oneself but was often never taken seriously..

What have I done in my life..


If viewed with negative perspective..
1) I'm a Christian but I still feel far away from Him
2) I successfully got dumped by my ex-girlfriend
3) I'm suffering from chronic disease which no one cares about
4) My financial standing is nowhere here nor there
5) My current care group/church sort of sidelined me. So I also become an ex..
6) My music dream was stunted by my ex-girlfriend and ended
7) I am not enjoying my current career at all
8) I am pretty much alone now and an introvert due to all those above

If viewed with positive perspective..
1) I'm still alive... great..
2) The first point above is corrupted with the negative perspective already. No point continuing..


What should I do??

What am I supposed to do in my life.. I am really lost already!